Sparkle Revolution Newsletter

If you examine the things in your life that trigger negative emotions, you may start to notice that the majority of these things are not problematic in and of themselves; rather it is your interpretation or perception of the thing or situation that causes the emotional reaction.

Let’s look at a few simple examples. If you are interested in sports of any kind, it’s likely that you have a favorite team. So think about when your team loses a big game. Depending on your level of “fandom-ness,” this may feel really terrible! You may feel angry or cheated or perhaps just frustrated, but you likely aren’t very happy or even neutral about this outcome. In this same situation, however, the fans of the winning team are having a happy day. If you think more deeply about this, the outcome of a sporting event really is a rather neutral thing, except in the eyes of the beholders. 

Let’s take another example. Let’s say someone says to you, “Wow! You look like you’ve lost weight!” How does that make you feel? If you’ve been trying really hard to lose weight, you might be elated that they noticed. However, you might also interpret this to mean they thought you previously looked overweight and take offense at this comment. Or maybe this is coming from your Mom and you always felt your Mom was critical of your weight, so you become really triggered by this statement. Can you see how the same statement can cause a variety of reactions all depending on your perception of it?

There is nothing wrong with you perceiving things in any certain way. But when you start to pay more attention to reactions you have, you can sometimes begin to unravel and soften your responses to things, which can lead to greater ease and peace in your life. Once you realize that the emotional response is coming from your perception, and that you have a choice over this, you can start to look at the event as more neutral and choose a neutral response. 

Related to the previous sports example: for many years, I let myself get seriously stressed watching my favorite football team on TV. After a while, I recognized that I didn’t have to stress myself out this way, and just stopped watching the games. Then much later, I got to a point where I was able to think this through and really recognize that whether a football team wins or loses a game doesn’t need to affect my emotions one way or the other. I changed my perspective and was able to release the emotional trigger this had for me.

Try a simple example to examine how your perception is shaping your reactions.