You slept well, you’ve had your morning coffee and your plans for the day look promising. But then someone enters the scene with negative energy and your mood deflates; the day takes a turn for the worse.
The actions and moods of others can get in the way of your happiness – if you let them. In this guide, we offer strategies to safeguard your happiness from the negative interference of others.
Why Do Other People Affect Our Happiness?
Interactions with others can negatively or positively influence our emotional state. As humans, we are programmed to pay close attention to each other’s emotions and we tend to base our emotional responses on the behavior or disposition of people around us.
Explanations for this tendency are well-researched, and include:
- Emotions are contagious.
Emotional contagion refers to our natural inclination to mirror the expressions, postures, and emotions of others. This instinct can be triggered by facial expressions and direct or indirect human interactions.
Because emotions are innate, every social interaction leads to some degree of emotional exposure. Evidence suggests that observed emotions can result in mind and body arousal. In a state of arousal, we become relaxed or activated, depending on the intensity of the observed emotions.
- Happiness ripples through social networks.
An individual is more likely to feel happiness when regularly exposed to other happy people. According to a Harvard study, the collective happiness of a group impacts personal happiness.
The influence of a happy individual spreads up to three degrees of separation. In other words, your friend’s emotional state not only affects you, but also your brother – and vice versa.
- Negative emotions affect us more than positive emotions.
Humans harbor a negativity bias which leads to imbalanced reactions towards positive and negative events. The impact of a negative (de-energizing) interaction is four to seven times greater than a positive (energizing) interaction.
An insult hits harder than a compliment. Receiving a dirty look in the cereal aisle forms a clearer memory than sharing a friendly smile with the cashier. Traumatic episodes consume our thoughts more often than joyful triumphs.
7 Ways to Not Let Others Affect Your Happiness
These methods offer proactive ways to shield your personal happiness from external influences:
1. Establish firm emotional boundaries
Emotional boundaries are the foundation of a healthy relationship and create the space you need to maintain emotional independence.
Clearly communicate your needs and limitations to yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to unreasonable requests or walk away from draining situations. Remember, respecting your boundaries is key to respecting yourself.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
Social media and societal pressures often fuel the comparison trap. Remember, everyone is on their own journey. What appears perfect on someone’s online profile might be a carefully curated highlight reel. Focus on your own goals and celebrate your unique progress.
3. Surround yourself with positivity
Healthy relationships enhance psychological and physical well-being. The people you spend time with significantly influence your mood. Surround yourself with positive, supportive individuals who uplift and inspire you. Limit interactions with energy drainers and negativity amplifiers. Prioritize connections that make you feel good.
4. Prioritize self-care
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This might include mindfulness practices, exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies. Prioritizing your well-being empowers you to better manage external negativity.
5. Practice gratitude
Gratitude isn’t just about appreciating good things. It’s a powerful tool that can shield you from the negativity of others. Here’s how:
- Shifts Perspective: When someone’s negativity threatens to engulf you, shift your focus to the things you’re grateful for in your life. This reframes the situation and reminds you of your own blessings.
- Boosts Resilience: Regularly practicing gratitude strengthens your emotional resilience. It equips you to handle external negativity with greater perspective and inner strength.
- Breaks the Cycle: Negativity can be contagious. By focusing on gratitude, you break the cycle of negativity that someone might be trying to pull you into. You project positivity instead, potentially influencing them as well.
Remember, gratitude is a practice. The more you cultivate it, the better equipped you become to handle negativity without letting it affect your inner happiness.
6. Stay centered on the positive
You can build emotional resilience and counteract negativity bias by making it a daily habit to focus more on the positive elements of your day. Surrounding yourself with positive people also contributes to life satisfaction and contentment.
7. Focus on what you can control
Because no one can control the emotions of others, it’s more effective to find happiness from within and focus on your personal choices, including:
- Who you spend your time with (in person and virtually)
- What you think about, how often, and when
- Where you turn for emotional release
- When you choose to remove yourself from a situation
- How you express yourself to others
Dedication to Self-Happiness is Not Selfish
You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness except your own. Navigate social interactions in ways that prioritize your emotional state to create happiness and stability in your life.
FAQs
1. Why do others affect me more when I’m tired?
Proper sleep helps your brain process memories and emotions. When we are well rested, our brain has the energy to process emotion and self-regulate so we become more likely to react positively and properly manage the situation. Studies show that enough sleep can promote more harmony within a relationship.
2. How do I stop feeling activated when someone crosses my boundaries?
The ideal solution will be different for everyone, but some tactics to try include:
- Retreating to a designated space in your home where you feel the most relaxed
- Letting the emotion pass through you by writing it down
- Speaking to a professional or trusted ally
- Visualizing a literal barrier or shield around yourself
- Repeating an affirmation that triggers a positive thought
- Seeking peace and quiet in a natural environment
- Realizing that the other person is in THEIR space and working from THEIR level and that you can choose to stay at YOUR level. Accept them for who they are and appreciate the journey they are on.
3. Do I need better emotional boundaries?
You might benefit from setting stronger emotional boundaries if you relate to any of the following statements:
- I neglect my wants and needs because I give more energy to others.
- Saying ‘No’ to a request makes me feel anxious.
- I am highly sensitive to criticism.
- I feel responsible for other people’s feelings.
- I often reflect the moods of people that are close to me.
- I spend my time trying to solve other people’s problems.
4. How do I create positive emotional boundaries?
- Identify Your Needs and Values: Identify the kinds of emotions you want to feel and be surrounded by
- Recognize Your Limits: we all have a limited capacity for emotional energy. Identify your boundaries around things like time, energy, and emotional involvement. Be honest with yourself about how much you can handle.
- Provide Clear and Direct Communication: Once you understand your boundaries, communicate them clearly and directly to others. Use “I” statements to express your needs and limitations. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when someone vents to me for a long time. Can we talk about it later?”
- Respectful Assertiveness: Be assertive but respectful when communicating your boundaries. You can be firm without being aggressive.
Practice Saying No: Saying “no” is a powerful tool. Don’t feel obligated to agree to everything or feel guilty for prioritizing your well-being. - Consistency is Key: Boundaries are most effective when they are consistent. Don’t waiver or make exceptions unless you truly feel comfortable doing so.
- Respect for Others’ Boundaries: While setting your own boundaries is important, respect the boundaries of others as well.
- It’s a Journey: Creating and enforcing boundaries takes practice. Be patient with yourself, and don’t be afraid to adjust your boundaries as needed.
5. What do I do if there is a negative influence in my life?
Dealing with negative influences in your life can be tricky, but there are steps you can take to protect your well-being. Here are some approaches depending on the severity of the situation:
- Limit the Association: If the negative influence is someone you can’t completely avoid (like a colleague), minimize your interactions with them.
- Address the Issue (Optional): In some situations, a direct conversation might be helpful. Choose a calm moment and express how their negativity is affecting you. Use “I” statements and focus on your feelings. For example, “I feel drained when you constantly complain. Can we focus on something more positive?”
- Disengage from Negativity: If someone tries to pull you into negativity, learn to disengage. Avoid getting caught up in arguments or emotional reactions.
- Strengthen Your Support System: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who uplift you. Spend time with friends and family who make you feel good about yourself.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with negativity. Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
- Consider a Clean Break (if necessary): In extreme cases, a complete break from the negative influence might be necessary. This could be a friend, a family member, or even a toxic work environment.
- Seek professional help
Make Happiness a Habit with Sparkle Revolution
At Sparkle Revolution, our mission is to “Raise the frequency of the world, one person at a time.” We believe that anyone can make happiness a habit by practicing the foundations of gratitude, positivity, and awareness.
If you’re looking for a way to put theory into practice, download the Sparkle Revolution app today and enjoy a free trial.
Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!
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Thank you for your comment. This can be quite challenging in our lives, yet can have a profound effect. Feel free to email us at help@SparkleRevolution.com with any questions you might have.
We are happy to be on this journey with you.
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Thank you for your comment. We are glad you enjoyed the post. We are always happy to take questions or comments. You can email help@SparkleRevolution.com with any questions.
We are happy to be on this journey with you.